Just Another Death Threat and other Drabbles
by NightSeer
Summary: Just some HP drabbles. Some will be crossovers and pairings will vary.
1. Just Another Death Threat

Drabble: Just Another Death Threat

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or Harry Potter.

Summary: Does this really need one? Oh, okay, fine. Harry gets _another_ death threat.

Characters: Yusuke, Dumbledore, and Harry.

Pairings: None

Author's Notes: I'm just making a little fun of all the YYH/HP crossovers out there, including my own. Please don't take offense if you've written one.

**Just Another Death Threat**

"Let me get this straight," Harry said, glaring half heartedly at the Headmaster sitting behind his desk. "Once again, someone wants me dead, and you," he turned to look at the man sitting next to him, "are here to play 'let's protect the wizard'?"

Yusuke snorted. "Get death threats often?" he asked.

"Almost everyday," Harry replied. "If it's not from someone protesting my friendship with a werewolf, it's from a Death Eater, or a Voldemort supporter. Or, my personal favorite, from some insane woman named Mary Sue, who insists I broke her heart when Skeeter told the world I was gay," he said, reaching out a hand to grab a few lemon sherbets from the bowl Dumbledore kept on his desk. "What makes this one so special?"

Dumbledore shook his head at Harry's nonchalant attitude. "This time, Harry, it's a bit more serious," he said, handing the young Defense Professor the letter Koenma had sent. "Prince Koenma believes that your life is being threatened by demons."

Harry popped the last sherbet in his mouth as he read the letter. "Well, shite," he said when he reached the end.

"Taking this one seriously?" Yusuke asked.

"No, not really. It's just…I lost this week's bet," Harry said sadly.

Yusuke blinked a few times. "You what?"

"I owe Snape twenty Galleons," Harry said with a pout. "He said the most outrageous one for the week would be demons."


	2. The Cloak

Drabble:The Cloak

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Summary: The cloak has many uses. Making out was James Potter's favorite.

Characters: Seamus, Ron, Harry, Ginny

Pairings: Harry/Ginny

Author's notes: I can't believe I wrote this. I _hate_ this pairing.

**The Cloak**

"Seamus, have you seen Harry or Ginny?"

"No, Ron, I haven't seen either of them since dinner."

"If you do, could you tell 'em to meet me in the Common Room? Hermione promised to help me and Harry with our Potions essays and she's getting upset that he hasn't shown up yet."

"Will do, mate," Seamus said as the door to the dorm room shut. He turned to look at Harry's empty bed. "Of course, they'd have to take the cloak off first so I could see them."

The air above Harry's bed shimmered and a hand appeared. It flipped Seamus off before it disappeared under the cloak again and Seamus laughed.

"If you two don't tell him soon, I am. I'm getting sick of being kicked out of the dorm every night for your snogging sessions," Seamus said as he picked up his books.


	3. Missed Chances

Drabble: Missed Chances

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Summary: Some things just aren't meant to be.

Pairings: James/Lily, Remus/Sirius, one-sided Sirius/Lily.

Characters: James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and baby Harry

Warnings: kind of depressing.

Author's notes: I guess this could be a drabble from the AGP universe.

**Missed Chances**

The first time he missed was when James pranked the girls' dorm first. Lily had come down the stairs literally spitting fire at James, completely ignoring the other three Gryffindor boys. He had never seen anyone more adorable than Lily Evans when she was angry.

The second time was when James was paired up with Lily for Charms. He was always paired with Remus. By the end of their second year Remus had gotten used to him staring at the feisty redhead. By the end of their fourth, Remus had an excuse ready for anytime the Professor asked him a question about his partner's spacey look.

The third time was when Lily caught three of the Marauders sneaking out to be with Remus during the full moon. James had insisted on staying behind while he and Peter went on. After that night, Lily had been a little nicer to all four of them, but she had begun to give James a second, and sometimes a third, look.

The fourth time was at the wedding. He had been all set to stand up and protest, to tell Lily he loved her, but one look at James' face and he couldn't do it. As much as he loved Lily, James loved her more. He could see it in the way the other man's eyes lit up when he saw her. Remus had given him a hug and told him he'd find someone.

* * *

"Pa'foo'." 

All five adults stared at the baby with messy black hair. "Oh, God, no," Lily groaned. "My son's first word was not…"

"Pa'foo," Harry said again, holding up his stuffed black dog.

Sirius laughed as he picked up his godson. "Of course, his first word was Padfoot. He is my godson, after all. He'll do anything to make you nutters, Lily."

Sirius smiled down at the grinning baby. He had missed his chance with Lily, and he had almost missed his chance with Remus, but he wouldn't miss any chances with Harry. No matter what, he would find a way to always look after Harry.


	4. Pups

Drabble: Pups

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Characters: Remus, Sirius, and Harry

Pairings: Remus/Sirius, background James/Lily

Warnings: I guess this might be a touch depressing.

Author's notes: The parts in italics are from a memory. This definitely takes place in the 'A Grim's Promise' universe. Sorry to anyone who's looking for an AGP update. I've got to go to the DMV so this is the only thing I have time to post.

**Pups**

_"He's our pup, Remus."_

Remus sighed sadly as he watched the children play in the small park, his attention focused on the small boy on the swings. If the boy's hair had been just a shade darker, he would have been a dead ringer for a seven year old Sirius.

If there was one thing Remus absolutely despised about being a werewolf, it would be the lack of children. He wasn't allowed to adopt, he was sterile because of the Wolfsbane potion, and male pregnancy was just a pipe dream Severus came up with when he was drunk. No matter what he did, he would never be able to have children.

_Remus laughed softly. "He's James' son, Padfoot, not ours. Harry is a Prongs, not a Moony or a Padfoot."_

_Sirius' face was serious for once. "How can you say that?" he asked. "He-is-our-pup. Just look in his eyes when he's throwing his pudding around. They practically glow when it hits someone, especially when I get blamed. He's definitely got some of us in him."_

Remus smiled slightly when the boy jumped off the swing and went running towards his mother. Maybe it was time for him to use that money Sirius had left him. A trip to Japan to visit Harry on his birthday was starting to sound like a good idea.

After all, their pup was going to need some help to set up his first big prank.

_Sirius smiled down at the sleeping baby in his arms. "I know you're sick of the baby wolf jokes, love, but Harry is ours, just as much as he is Lily's and James'," he said, lifting his head to look at his lover. "He's just ours in a different way, is all."_


	5. His Geek

Title: His Geek

Disclaimer: I don't own SG-1 or Harry Potter.

Warnings: Mild, mild one sided slash.

Author's notes: I read several SG-1/HP crossovers and began wondering what Harry would turn out like if he was raised by Daniel instead of the Dursleys. After figuring out that he'd probably be more bookish and studious, but still be, I dunno, Harry-ish, I went back to reading Stargate fics. I ended up reading a few romances. Those made me wonder what would happen if Jon, Jack's clone, met a Daniel raised Harry. I'm not sure how my brain made this leap, but this is the result.

**His Geek**

Sometimes Jon thought he was insane for crushing on his little geek.

As Jack, he had had major feelings for Sam and a small, minor—very minor—crush on Daniel, but then Loki had come in and done his thing. Now he was Jon, clone of Jack. And in his quest to not be like Jack, Jon was attending college and had befriended a geek; a geek who had turned out to be Daniel's baby cousin, Harry.

Harry was a lot like Daniel. He could speak several languages, curse in all of them, was always focused on doing the right thing, told bullies and idiots where to stick it at the worst times, and seemed to attract trouble like nothing else. Harry also shared a lot of Daniel's other little quirks; like his love affair with caffeine and chocolate, his nervous hand gestures, his need to understand the world and people around him, and his highly frustrating—yet oddly cute—need to hunt down, read, understand, and _share_ every bit of cultural information he could. These similarities to Daniel made Jon wonder if he was just transferring his tiny crush on Daniel to Harry.

But there _were_ differences. Physically, the main difference was their coloring. Harry had black hair and green eyes, instead of Daniel's blond hair and blue eyes. Harry's love of caffeine involved Mountain Dew and tea, not coffee; one of the languages he spoke was snake; his weapon of choice was his magic, not a zat or a gun; he said Quidditch kicked Hockey's ass and would argue the point; and he had absolutely no problem kicking _Jon's_ ass when he was responsible for his caffeine supply disappearing.

And that was why Jon was currently climbing down the fire escape of his apartment building while Hermione and Ron tried to stop Harry from breaking down the door or shattering the anti-apparition wards surrounding the building. Because without a massive bribe of Chinese food, a replacement twelve pack and imported chocolate, there was no way the wizard was going to forgive him for breaking into his apartment and throwing away all fifty nine cans of his Mountain Dew.

Jon jumped down from the ladder, pulled out his cell phone, and started running for his truck. If he was lucky, he could get everything and be back before his neighbors called the cops. As he hit the speed dial button for the Chinese food place, Jon once again realized he was completely insane for crushing on his geek.


	6. Payday

Drabble: Payday

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Yu Yu Hakusho.

Summary: Snape wins the weekly death threat bet.

Characters: Snape, Harry, and Yusuke. Other staff members of Hogwarts are mentioned.

Author's Note: This was thought up pre-HBP and is a continuation of Just Another Death Threat.

**Payday**

Snape never grinned or smiled, but he did do an evil little smirk. And today his smirk was more than just a touch evil; it was smug evil. He had won the weekly death threat bet the Hogwarts staff had been running since Voldemort's defeat two years earlier. So far Minerva, Pomona, and Filius had dropped off their Galleons; Snape was just waiting on Potter to drop off his money and then he could go buy that new silver cauldron he needed for his latest experiment.

Snape looked up from the old Potions journal he was leafing through when the door to the teacher's lounge opened. "About time you got here, Potter. I was starting to think you weren't going to pay me."

Harry scowled at him as he walked in, followed by a confused Japanese man. Harry stalked over to where Snape was sitting and pulled a small brown money bag from one of his robe pockets. He started to hand the potions master his winnings but stopped. "Are you going to spend this on potions ingredients?" he asked. "I don't like the idea of my money being used to torture the students."

"Don't worry, Potter. I'm spending it on private research," Snape said, snatching the bag from the other Professor's hands. Instead of counting his winnings, Snape focused on the man standing behind Potter. "Who the devil are you?"

Harry grinned. "This Yusuke Urameshi," he said. "He's here in case the demons actually show."

Snape gave the demon a once over and snorted. "Poor you," he said to Yusuke as he stood up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a class of dunderheads to teach."

Yusuke watched as the tall, greasy haired man stalked out of the room before turning back to Harry. "What did he mean by 'Poor you'?" he asked.

"Oh, the last time I had a bodyguard my students drove him insane," Harry said as he poured himself a cup of tea. He glanced at Yusuke as he added a bit of milk to his cup. "I wouldn't worry. The Healers say he should be able to function in normal society again soon."


	7. House Relations

Title: House Relations

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Summary: Why would a Slytherin ever kiss a Gryffindor?

**House Relations**

The kiss was amazing. It was wonderful. It was better than any dream he had ever had about kicking Potter across the pitch and snatching the snitch right from under his nose. It was hundred times better than any fantasy he ever had about Pansy… Wait, Pansy. Pansy had spent the past two days crying and ranting about being hexed into kissing Potter, something he had found extremely amusing and slightly disgusting. He had laughed and she threatened revenge. Pansy wouldn't be in the mood for snogging. Who in Merlin's name was he kissing?

Draco jerked his head back, finally aware of his surroundings and the laughter of almost every student in the great hall. He looked at the shocked girl in front of him and saw red. Mudblood. He had been snogging the Mudblood know-it-all. Someone was going to die for making him contaminate his precious lips. He needed to drink a cleansing potion, take a shower, scrub his teeth and lips and any other contaminated part of him with all purpose Dragon blood cleanser. He- he-he needed to puke.

"You disgusting, vile ferret," Granger screeched, jerking her fist back. Draco closed his eyes, bracing himself for the impact. He deserved it. He had kissed Mudblood lips and he had _liked_ it.

8-8-8-8-8-8-8

"Potty."

"Pug face."

"This never happened."

"Why would I admit to joining forces with a snake? Here are your copies of the photos."

"That Creevey freak's good with a camera."

"He gets plenty of practice stalking me. See you in class, Parkinson."

"Not if I can help it, Potter"


	8. Quidditch vs Hockey

Title: The Great Quidditch-Hockey Debate

Disclaimer: I don't own SG-1 or Harry Potter.

Timeline: The world cup during the fourth book for Harry Potter, for SG-1 sometime before Jack becomes head of the SGC.

**The Great Quidditch vs. Hockey Debate**

"Quidditch."

"Hockey."

"Quidditch," Harry said, glaring up at the man.

"It's a pansy sport played on brooms," Jack said, glaring down at the fourteen year old boy, ignoring the shocked and offended gasps from the other people in the box. "Hockey is the better sport."

Harry snorted. "Played by a bunch of poufs wearing skates and swinging sticks. You risk your life playing Quidditch; you only risk teeth playing Hockey."

"Why did you think this was a good idea?" Sam whispered, leaning across Teal'c to speak to Daniel. "They're acting like children."

"At least Harry has an excuse. Jack's just being an ass because he had to admit magic exists," Daniel replied. "And the-…"

"I heard that, Daniel," Jack said, looking away from his argument long enough to glare at his friend.

"…American Minster of Magic gave us the tickets as a thank you for what we did last month when he found out Harry was my cousin," Daniel continued softly so he wouldn't interrupt Ludo Bagman's speech, seemingly oblivious to the interruption. "I thought it would be a good vacation, since short of Thor, we can't get called back to the mountain. Plus, it gives me a chance to meet Harry's friends. Something I haven't had the chance to do since he started school."

"The mascots are coming out, O'Neill," Tealc said, and Harry and Jack immediately sat down, still hissing their arguments back and forth, completely missing the Veela and the smack to the back of the head Sam gave Daniel when he saw the Veelas dance.

"What were those?" Daniel asked when the dance ended, blinking in confusion, wondering why he had been leaning over the railing.

"Veela. Very compelling, aren't they?" Mr. Weasley said cheerfully.

"Very," Daniel said, before smiling weakly at Sam. "Thanks."

"Hmph, you would have been an archeologist pancake if Teal'c hadn't grabbed you. Thank him."

"Thanks, Teal'c."

"You are welcome, DanielJackson," Teal'c said, not taking his eyes off the Leprechauns.He caughta few of the gold coins they were throwing. "Very interesting creatures. Perhaps we should bring one home with us. It would be useful. General Hammond often deals with complaints about the cost of running the program."

Daniel and Sam traded looks. "Jack."

"Not now, Daniel," Jack said. "Now listen here, kid. Hockey is the better sport. You've blood, you have people…"

"The blood in Hockey is nothing compared to what you get in a Quidditch match," Harry said, pointing at his arm. "I broke this arm in my second year, and almost died last year. On violence alone, Quidditch is better, and that's just at the school level."

"Sir, it's starting," Sam hissed. "You two can finish this after the match."

"There won't be anything to finish," Harry said, turning around to watch the match. "After this, he'll have to admit Quidditch is the better sport."

"Keep dreaming, mini-geek."


	9. The Cute Factor

Drabble: The Cute Factor

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Summary: There are days when it sucks to be cute.

Characters: Harry, Millicent, Blaise

Warnings: None

**The Cute Factor**

As far as Blaise Zabini could tell the only thing Harry Potter had going for him was cuteness, and cuteness would fade. The boy wasn't exceptionally smart or talented in any one particular area. Nor could he hold a long conversation about anything other than Quidditch. Potter was creative in a duel, but that usually only showed up in his fights with Voldemort. So it made absolutely no sense to Blaise that the one girl in Slytherin house he respected had a crush on Potter.

"You just don't understand, Zabini," Millicent said, watching Potter during breakfast one morning. "It's not that he's extremely cute or smart or fun."

"Then what is it, Bulstrode. Please, for the love of Merlin, explain it to me," Blaise pleaded.

Millicent frowned as she looked away from her daily Potter watching to focus on her friend. "You remember in fifth year that we all were told to do everything we could to stop Potter from telling the world about Voldemort?"

Blaise snorted softly. Of course he remembered that. The arguments his parents had had about that order, and what it meant were what had finally led to his mother packing his and her things and leaving his most recent step father. "I remember," he said.

"And do you remember the way that no matter what Umbridge threw at him or did to him, Potter refused to change his story or beliefs?" she asked, turning back to watch Potter.

"Yes," Blaise said testily, wishing she would get to the point already.

"No matter what happens to him, he always stays true to his beliefs," Millicent said quietly, still watching Potter as he and his two friends left the Great Hall. "I respect him for that. I envy him a little, too."

"You can do better than Potter, Bulstrode," Blaise scoffed.

Millicent snorted at her friend. "Who, you?" she asked, smiling slightly to let him know she wasn't serious.

He blinked a few times in surprise; he hadn't been expecting _that_. But he and Millicent did get along. She was intelligent, and he respected her. Oh what the hell, it was worth a shot. "Yeah, me," he replied.

"Sorry, Zabini," Millicent said, standing and picking up her bag, "but you're too cute for me."


	10. A New Kitten

Title: A New Kitten

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz (aka Knight Hunters) or Harry Potter.

Summary: Someone besides Petunia Dursley is chosen to raise Harry.

Characters: Omi Tsukiyono, Ken Hidaka, Harry Potter

Pairings: None

Timeline: This takes place during the WK series and at the beginning of the HP books.

Author's Notes: If you don't know, Weiss Kreuz is an anime about four men who are assassins by night and florists by day. I know that looks stupid typed out, but it is a good series (If you can ignore the fact that there is no blood in a death scene, and that the animators took a couple of shortcuts, it's a good series). Aya (aka Ran) doesn't look darn thing like Lily except for the red hair, and that's pushing it. Actually now that I think about it, Harry and James look a little bit like Ken, but the blood protection spell is dependent on someone of Lily's bloodline. As for the title, it comes from something in the WK series.

**A New Kitten**

Omi went into full denial mode as he read the letter. This wasn't happening. No way would anyone give Aya a child to raise. Aya was obsessed with protecting his little sister, killing Takatori, and his car. No one with half a brain would hand over a child to Aya. It…just…no, it wasn't happening. He put the letter down and stared at the basket in shock, expecting it to disappear any second. Inside the basket was a sleeping toddler with short, messy black hair. The boy was clutching the ear of a black toy dog with one hand and the blanket with his other hand. Omi blinked when the boy rolled over in the basket, dropping his toy dog. Denial wasn't working; the kid was still there.

"Omi, why is there a baby on the table?"

Omi didn't look up from the basket and sleeping toddler. "Did you know Aya had family in Britain?" he asked Ken.

That was a random question. "No, I didn't. What does that have to do with the kid?" Ken asked, yawning.

Omi silently handed his teammate the letter that had been with the kid. When the brunette was done reading, he asked, "Who is insane enough to give Aya a kid? Scratch that, who is insane enough to give the four of us a kid?"

"Apparently this Dumbledore person is," Omi replied, still staring at the toddler. It wouldn't be that hard for them to take care of a kid. It would be dangerous, but the letter had said the boy was in need of protection, and four assassins could definitely protect one kid. He picked up the toy and put it back in the basket.

Ken grunted and joined Omi in staring at the small toddler asleep on their kitchen table. "So, what's for breakfast?" he asked after a few minutes.

"Nothing, go get your shoes. We're going shopping for baby supplies," Omi said softly, picking up the toddler, being careful not to wake him.

"We're keeping him?" Ken asked, confused. "Shouldn't we ask Aya first? Or, Manx? I'm sure she'll have something to say about this."

"Yes, we're keeping him, and no, we aren't asking Aya. And if Manx has any problems, she can take them up with me. Besides, how would we get in touch with the man that left him here? It's not like there's a return address on that letter," Omi said, smiling when the boy, still asleep, cuddled against him. They were definitely keeping the boy, Omi decided as he walked out of the kitchen. Now he just had to figure out how to get his shoes on without dropping the baby or waking him up.

"What about the shop? It's my turn to open," Ken said as he followed Omi out of the kitchen. "I really don't want to…"

Omi cut him off. "Would you rather be here when Aya reads that note?"

Ken winced, picturing their teammate's reaction to being saddled with a child, a child that Omi was determined to keep. "Never mind, I'll wake up Yohji and meet you downstairs in five minutes."

A/N: This will probably never be a full story, just a collection of tiny one-shots like this one.


	11. Dogs and Cats

Title: Dogs and Cats

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz (aka Knight Hunters) or Harry Potter

Summary: Nagi meets Harry.

Characters: Nagi, Yohji aka Balinese, and Harry

Pairings: None

Author's Notes: If you don't know, Weiss Kreuz is an anime about four men who are assassins by night and florists by day. I know that looks stupid typed out, but it is a good series (If you can ignore the fact that there is no blood in the death scenes, and that the animators took a couple of shortcuts, it's a good series). Aya (aka Ran) doesn't look darn thing like Lily, except for the red hair.

**Dogs and Cats**

The first time Nagi saw the boy with Weiss, he had been taking the long way home past the park. Nothing exciting happened. He just saw Bombay, Siberian, and the toddler playing in one of the sandboxes. Nagi's first thought was the boy was a part of some mission Weiss was on, and he made a mental note to tell Crawford about the boy when he got home. Crawford told him the boy wasn't important and to leave him alone, but Nagi was curious and kept an eye out for him.

Schuldig had seen the kid a few already. Every time he came back, he would praise the kid's developing mental shields and powers. Schuldig always came back from these spying sessions saying the kid belonged with them, and every time Crawford would shoot him down, insisting that they would not take the kid from Weiss. Crawford never turned down a potential resource or powerful ally, and the kid—according to Schuldig, anyway—had the potential to be both. Thus, Nagi was curious.

Frowning, Nagi watched Balinese carry the boy into a toy store and followed them in. He didn't have a reason to be here, and if one of Crawford's visions struck, he was going to be in serious trouble, but this little mystery was demanding to be solved. What about the boy made Crawford so nervous?

Pretending to look at video games he would never buy, Nagi used the security monitors behind the register to watch the blond man try to find something that the kid would be interested in. Unfortunately for the kid, Balinese was a pervert. The kid kept trying to get to the stuffed animals, but the blond man refused to move from the dolls so he could talk to the cute clerk stocking the shelves.

'_And this is why idiots and perverts should never raise children_,' Nagi thought irritably. He glanced around the store. The only people in it were him, the clerk behind the counter, the clerk the pervert was talking to, Balinese, and the kid; and Balinese and the idiot girl were completely ignoring the kid. Frowning slightly in concentration, Nagi reached out with his powers, picked up a large, stuffed white dog and floated it over to the boy. Laughing, the boy grabbed the dog from the air and patted its head.

Nagi smirked when the blond assassin and the clerk jumped guiltily at the sound, and he turned to leave the store. He couldn't see what Schuldig saw in the boy, but he had given him a chance to bug the pervert. As he was pushing the door open, he looked back at the boy, and blinked when he saw the boy was staring straight at him, smiling.

"Good doggie," the boy said, looking him. Nagi just rolled his eyes and walked out of the store. As the door was closing, he heard the boy again, this time speaking to Balinese.

"You _bad_ kitty. I tell Omi."

Nagi laughed softly as he quickly walked down the street. Even if he didn't agree with Schuldig about the boy, he was sure the redhead would enjoy watching the chaos this would cause.


	12. Flying

Drabble: Flying

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Yu Yu Hakusho

Summary: Sometimes the simple things are the most important

Characters: Harry, Jin

Pairings: None

Spoilers: Yes, drabbles can have spoilers and this once spoils why a Defense teacher never lasted more than a year and who the new Minister of Magic is.

Author's Notes: I really, truly don't like this thing, but at this point I just want it off my computer so I stop tinkering with it.

**Flying**

After the war ended, Harry grew bored fast.

It wasn't that he had enjoyed the constant threat to his life or his friends' lives, but he had grown accustomed to the occasional adrenaline rush. Short of becoming an Auror, which he refused to do with Scrimgeour in office, there wasn't much he could do to get that rush back. He had briefly debated the offer from the Tornados Quidditch team, but before he could respond, Minerva owled him about taking on the Defense Against the Dark Arts job. Harry jumped at the chance to not only return to the only place he had ever thought of as a home, but to beat Voldemort one last time by surviving the curse the man had placed on the job.

Three years later and still a Professor, Harry was bored again. The curse had been easy to beat, and his students—except for a few Slytherins—were so awed they were being taught by the boy who lived that they rarely caused him problems. Merlin, his students were so boring he actually looked forward to the fights and arguments during his Gryffindor and Slytherin classes. Unfortunately, the fights weren't enough to stop him from being bored.

He decided to turn to flying again. Even if it wasn't playing as Seeker, flying always gave him a little of that rush that he craved.

That rush was why he was currently racing the red haired demon around the moonlit Quidditch pitch. Flying at night, even in the best of conditions, was dangerous, and racing against the demonic version of a wind mage was even worse. But…

Harry laughed softly as Jin passed him. Forcing himself to go faster, Harry quickly caught up with the other man and smirked at his shocked face as he passed him.

It might be dangerous, but it was fun.


	13. Hermione's Crazy Idea

Drabble: Hermione's Crazy Idea

Summary: The gang takes a break from hunting down Horcruxes to discover what cool and awesome powers Harry will come into on his seventeenth birthday. The results are rather disappointing.

Author's Notes: You know all those inheritance stories where Harry's inheritance turns him into some magical, sexual creature, and he pretends to hate all the attention but secretly loves it because he'll hook up with his one true secret love? This ain't one of them. By the way, I made up the name of the creature, so if it really means something in another language, I want to apologize in advance for any accidental insults.

**Hermione's Crazy Idea**

"I'm some sort of male Veela, then?" Harry asked, looking up from the pale blue potion. He snorted at Ron and Hermione's shocked faces-the bushy haired girl's mouth kept opening and closing as she tried to speak, and Ron's face had gone pale-before wrapping a handkerchief around the cut in his palm.

"Harry, Mecillizas draw in everyone," Hermione said, seemingly baffled by Harry's nonchalant attitude. "You'll have everyone from Snape to_ Voldemort _to Skeeter trying to bugger you!"

Ron winced at Voldemort's name and out right gagged at Skeeter's, but he spoke anyway. "Mate, you don't understand. _Everyone_ will want you after your inheritance hits."

Harry rolled his eyes. "And how is that different from my life now? It's just that people will stare at my arse instead of my scar. If you think about it, it's actually a nice change. I have a damn fine arse. I wish more people would look at it."

"You're nutters," Ron muttered as Harry vanished the potion. Harry just shrugged in reply as he flipped through the book they were using, looking for something.

Hermione blinked in confusion as Harry calmly refilled the cauldron with water and began chopping daisy roots. "What are you doing?"

"Working on the antidote to the attraction. As fine as my arse is, I don't want you and Ron staring at," Harry said, shuddering. "You're family."

Ron nodded and grabbed the beetles. "Good idea. I don't need Ginny hexing me for looking at her property."

Laughing, Harry threw a frog brain at Ron. "And I don't need Hermione hexing me for making you look at my arse."

"Boys," Hermione muttered half-heartedly, taking the jar of frog brains from Harry. Sitting down on her stool, she put the brains back on the table, far away from Harry and Ron. As she began stirring the potion, a strange idea occurred to her, one that seemed less and less strange as she thought about it. "Maybe we can use this."

"What, throw the cauldron at Snape's head?" Ron suggested.

"No, Harry's inheritance," Hermione said patiently. "Like you said, everyone will be attracted to him. If we run into Death Eaters, all we have to do is throw Harry in front of them, and they'll take each other out to get to him."

Harry scowled at her. "Should I get a dress to go along with this crappy romance novel idea?"

"If you think it will help," Hermione said sweetly, sounding way too much like Umbridge for the boys' comfort.

Harry and Ron started moving even faster, determined to get the potion made before midnight. No way in hell were they going through with Hermione's idea.


	14. Not Safe

Drabble: Not Safe

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Summary: Safe is boring, and Ginny is safe.

Pairings: Harry/Luna, Harry/Ginny

Author's Notes: Did I ever mention how much I despise the Harry/Ginny pairing? When I wrote this, I finally figured out why-She looks like his Mom! On a side note, holy crap, I wrote het!

**Not Safe**

The best thing about Ginny wasn't her wonderful personality or her amazing looks, but that she was safe. It was safe to date Ginny because everyone expected it. Everyone knew it would happen eventually. Mrs. Weasley had often commented to her husband that they made the perfect couple, if only Harry would see that, and Remus was fond of saying how much they were like Lily and James, and not just in looks. Harry liked being safe, and he liked being with Ginny.

But safe is boring, and Ginny was safe. She even had their nice, safe, boring life planned out, right down to the number of children they would have and where they would live. Panicked, Harry ran, leaving a note behind to explain how sorry he was, that he just couldn't be who she wanted him to be. He knew the next time he saw the Weasleys he was in for a beating, but dating Ginny was safe. Harry didn't want safe.

Luna isn't safe. She's danger and mystery and amazement. She confuses him, constantly. She sees things in a way that no one else can, and constantly shocks him with her observations. And she knows him. Not in the way Ginny, Hermione, and Ron know him, but she knows him because she's like him. She has seen death and accepted it. She knows what it's like to watch someone you love die and not be able to stop it.

Luna doesn't look at all like Lily. Luna's long blonde hair and pale grey eyes are as far from his mother's looks as they can get. Harry likes that. Harry doesn't feel slightly nauseous when he kisses her because she doesn't remind him of the woman standing next to his father in the wedding photos, and he doesn't feel like he's living his father's life when they're together. No one comments on how much they look like Lily and James together. And no one ever asks when they're going to get married and settle down and have children.

Harry loves being with Luna. She isn't at all safe, she's interesting. She is riddle he knows he will never understand, but he will enjoy spending a lifetime trying.


	15. Once Upon a Time

Title: Once Upon a Time…

Summary: Petunia tries to tell a story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Characters: Petunia

Author's Notes: On a message board I go to, there was a discussion about the idea of JKR being a front and who 'really' writes the Harry Potter books. That sparked this.

**Once Upon a Time...**

Once upon a time there was a wizard…

Petunia stared at the line for a moment. With a decisive slash, she crossed it out and tried again.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful…

Petunia frowned. This one wasn't right either; it wasn't Lily's story. She scratched that line out too.

Once upon a time there was a great evil…

Petunia scowled this time. Frustrated, she scratched the words out. Three inches of parchment wasted. She wanted to use 'Once upon a time'. All great fairy tales and children's stories began with it and her nephew's adventures were sure to become legend one day. She wanted everyone to know what a wonderful, amazing boy he had been. She wanted to tell his story.

Petunia put the quill down and flexed her hand. It was such an odd thing to use for writing, but it seemed fitting to tell Harry's story using the tools of his world. And it seemed proper to sit in his old room at his old desk while writing it. Staring down at the yellowed parchment and the old bent quill she had found under a loose floor board, Petunia realized 'Once upon a time' wasn't going to work with his story. It was for happy tales with perfectly happy endings and bloodless violence. Harry's story wasn't bloodless and the ending wasn't perfect.

If she was going to tell his story, she was going to have to tell all of it, including the lies she and Vernon had told the boy. She would have to include the years of neglect and the way they tried to force him not to be a 'freak' as well. Petunia instinctively pushed the quill away. She loved her normal life and her normal, wonderful son and husband. Was telling his story worth throwing all of that away?

She looked at the picture of a sad boy with green eyes and messy black hair lying next to the parchment and the sight of the too thin boy pulled at her heart in a way it never had before. Harry was eight in the picture-it was the only picture she had of him-and the signs of neglect were clearly visible. With a sad sigh, she picked up the quill and tried again.

Harry's story needed to be told, if only to stop the next family with a magical child from acting like she and her family had.


	16. Too Much Information

Title: Too Much Information

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Kingdom Hearts

Summary: Yuffie learns something she'd rather not know.

Pairings: Squall/Harry

Timeline: Takes place sometime before the first KH

Author's notes: When I read or write relationships, I love weird pairings. This one happens to be my latest favorite.

**Too Much Information**

They fought.

They argued.

They bickered.

And they _never stopped_. It was enough to drive Yuffie insane. It was bad enough Squall had a thing for being a prick to the newbies, but for him to actively hunt this particular one down and purposely pick a fight with him was flat out mean, not to mention stupid.

Which was why she was sitting on the roof of Harry's apartment listening to the fight in the room below her. Someone needed to be here to save Squall's butt when Harry finally decided he had had enough and went for the kill.

"Go fuck yourself, Leon, and get the hell out of my house! I refuse to do it."

Yuffie jumped when a blast of purple light blasted through the window below her. Looking over the edge of the roof, she blanched at the smoking hole in the wall. Okay, not the window. Whatever Squall had done this time, he had pissed Harry off quick. Normally wizard boy didn't start blowing holes in the walls right off. He preferred angling his shots so they shattered windows if the target dodged, said they were easier to fix.

"Not until you agree to do it."

"Heartless will dance through the town in tutus before I agree to that."

"If I have to jump one and make it put on a tutu, you're going to do it."

"Fuck. You're really serious aren't you? You'd really run one down and dress it up to get me to do this?"

"We did that last night, and yes, I'm serious. When am I not serious?"

Yuffie dug her finger in her ear and wiggled it around, attempting to clean it out. She had not just heard Squall imply he and the wizard had sex. They fought too much to have sex, not to mention the stick up Squall's ass. But that wouldn't be a problem if…

Yuffie gagged. Not going there.

"You're always serious. Why-Don't shake your head at me-I just want one good reason _why_ I should."

"Because it would make me happy…" There was a snort and Yuffie could almost picture the disbelieving look on the wizard's face. "…to win the bet."

"Bet? What bet?"

"The bet Cloud and I made the last time I saw him at the Coliseum."

"Uh huh. And how am I a part of this bet?"

Yuffie strained her ears to hear. "…with your… twenty rounds…teams…"

"You _what_!"

Yuffie winced, covering her ears. Damn, he was loud.

"I can't believe you would do that! What gave you the right to put my name down without telling me? The next match is in two days. Two, Leon. I don't have enough time to prepare!"

"Please." Yuffie's jaw dropped. Please. She slowly grinned. Cid owed her fifty munny. Squall was capable of saying 'please' to someone besides Aerith. "It's not like you're doing this alone. I'm your partner for the matches."

"And how often do we fight together? Almost never. It's going to be next to impossible for us to win."

"Does that mean you'll do it?"

"Yes, but I hope you like my couch 'cause you aren't getting any for the next month. Oh, and before you say you'll just go home, Aerith had Merlin shrink your bed and other stuff and bring it over on his way out of town. She said something about how it would get more use here."

"You're lying."

"Go look. I unshrunk it already. I left everything but the bed in the corner."

Yuffie heard a door open, and someone-she was sure it was Squall-kick something.

"I can't believe she would do this to me. We're not dating; we just have sex."

"And we have enough of it that she thinks you should live here."

"Eeww," Yuffie mouthed, gagging. Squall was family; she didn't need to know _that_.

"It's my bed, Harry, I'm sleeping in it."

"And that's all you will be doing. I meant it when I said you weren't getting any for a month. Hey! What do you think-oh."

Yuffie's eyes went wide when she heard the gasp, quickly followed by a moan. Being as quiet as she could, she stood up and ran to the ledge so she could jump to the next roof. It was a bad enough she knew man she thought of as her brother was getting regular sex; she _so_ did not need to hear him do it.


	17. Traditions

Drabble: Traditions

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Summary: Traditions aren't always a good thing.

Characters: Harry, Draco

Pairings: None, but if you like Harry/Draco and you look real hard, you might see the beginnings of one.

Author's Note: This is from a seventh year fic that never made it past the planning stage. After reading the fifth book the idea of Harry and Draco in any kind of positive relationship, friendship or otherwise, was completely ruined for me. Of course the sixth book killed Harry/Draco so horribly for me that I have trouble even reading AUs where they're just friendly acquaintances now. If it wasn't for the fact that this thing refused to leave me alone, even this little bit would never have been written.

**Traditions**

It was tradition. Every year Malfoy would find Potter and say something nasty and hurtful. By seventh year, it was something Harry actually looked forward to. Seeing the ferret meant that he was halfway to school and that he didn't have to see the Dursleys until June. When Malfoy didn't show for their yearly insult match, Harry got worried.

After making up some excuse he couldn't remember, Harry left the compartment and searched the train for Malfoy. He eventually found him sitting alone in a compartment in the last car. The blond teenager was so absorbed in his thoughts he didn't hear Harry open the door.

"Malfoy," Harry said as he entered. He shut the door behind him and sat down on the bench across from the other teen.

Draco's grey eyes focused on Harry, and he sneered. "What are you doing here, Potter?"

"Looking for you," Harry replied. "You didn't show up."

"Excuse me?" Draco asked in disbelief.

"You didn't show up," Harry repeated. "It's tradition. Every year you come by and attempt to make my life miserable, or you give me some half-arsed clue as to what Voldemort's planning. This year you didn't show."

"Ah, I see," Draco said, absently rubbing his left forearm. "Sorry, Potter, but I have other things on my mind this year."

"Oh," Harry said, watching as Draco continued to rub his arm. "Get a tattoo?" he asked.

Draco's lips twitched. "It's a tradition in my family, Potter. Both my parents have one, as does my godfather, and now I have one," he replied.

Harry nodded as he stood up. "It's tradition in my family to become an illegal animagus. My dad was a stag, and my godfather was a dog."

Draco frowned as he watched the other boy open the door. "Potter?"

"Yeah, Malfoy?" Harry said, looking over his shoulder.

"What's your animagus form?"

"I don't have one. Some traditions need to be broken," Harry said and walked out of the compartment. He didn't shut the door behind him.


	18. Adventures in Crossdressing

Title: Adventures in Cross Dressing

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VIII

Summary: In Cid's opinion, it was the perfect birthday gift for a young girl like Selphie. The boys disagree.

Pairings: Cid/Edea, mild childish Irvine/Selphie

Author's Notes: AU for both universes. This takes place during the orphanage years of FFVIII, and I'm still not sure how Harry got there, but he is. Oh, the orphanage is more like organized chaos than any real orphanage.

**Adventures in Cross Dressing**

Selphie stared at her birthday gift from Mr. Cid in awe. It was a magical, wonderful box, and she had _plans_ for it.

To everyone else it was a plain, ordinary cardboard box, the only remarkable thing about it being how large it was, but the good stuff was on the inside. Old children's party dresses, long frilly skirts, blouses with fake pearls and sequins, floppy hats, a couple of old wigs, dress shoes and sneakers, and a giant collection of mix matched scarves and wraps to go with every outfit. The best part was the small kit of make up under the furry blue and white hat, its pink case appearing to glow in the sunlight. Selphie reverently opened the pink case and her eyes twinkled at all the bright, wonderful, sparkly, _beautiful_ colors inside.

"Cid, are you sure this is a good idea?" Edea whispered to her husband. She did _not_ like the way Selphie was hugging the make-up to her chest and bouncing around.

"You did say you were worried about often she played 'War'. I thought a good set of make believe clothes from the flea market might keep her busy for a while," Cid murmured back. Edea waited for the real reason. "It was cheaper than the bike and she can't break it," he added a moment later.

Edea nodding in understanding, but she couldn't get rid of the sinking feeling of dread in her stomach. Selphie was dangerous enough on her own, but the little girl armed with clothes and make-up, and full of birthday cake and ice cream surely meant bad things. Edea knew Selphie would find away to turn the innocent gift into a weapon, and if the excited expression on Quistis's face was any kind of clue, the little blonde girl was going to help.

Zell whimpered, and Seifer started edging out of the room, keeping his back to the wall and both eyes on Selphie.

* * *

Irvine was the first to fall. 

Edea found him sitting at the kitchen table the next morning, dressed in a dark red chiffon gown, its ruffled skirt hiked up to his knees. His eyes were surrounded with pink and purple eye shadow, his lips were painted a lurid shade of red, and his hair was coated in a sparkly red glitter Edea recognized from the arts and crafts kit in the playroom. He also had the silliest grin on his face, which could only be explained by the pink lipstick kiss mark on his cheek, the same color pink as the lipstick Selphie was wearing.

Seifer, Zell, and Squall were staring at him in horror while Quistis and some of the older kids laughed. Little Harry stood up on the bench and reached out a hand to grab one of the red clip-on earrings dangling from Irvine's ears. Squall yanked Harry onto his lap and scooted farther down the bench before he carefully inspected the toddler's hand to make sure it hadn't been contaminated.

Edea bit her lip and picked up the camera still in the kitchen from the day before. As she took a picture of Irvine in all his glory, Edea tried to convince herself she was doing this just to record Selphie's artistic talents, not to…oh say, have future blackmail on the children.

* * *

Zell was next to go. 

If all reports could be believed…Oh, all right, fine, have it your way.

Edea was listening in on Seifer and Squall planning Selphie avoidance techniques, and overheard Zell had swallowed his pride, gathered his courage and marched up to girls' room to get it over with. Selphie and Quistis and tagged teamed him, purple scarves and pink stockings flying everywhere as they dragged him into their room. Surprisingly, according to Seifer, Zell hadn't screamed once, even when Selphie laughed manically as she locked the door.

So with camera in hand, Edea went upstairs and folded some of the scarves lining the hall as she waited for the door to open. She had only folded two before the door opened and a very cowed Zell stepped out. He had a wide eyed, shell-shocked expression that looked horribly wrong on his blue and purple painted face and his feet were tangled up in the long purple skirt he had been forced into.

Edea quickly snapped a picture before she gently guided Zell to the bathroom to wash off the make-up, running her hand through his hair to make sure the black glitter wasn't applied with glue like Irvine's had been.

* * *

Edea found Harry and one of the older boys, Mitchell, after lunch. Harry was sitting on the couch, and Mitchell was tied up next to him, a long green scarf wrapped around his wrists, a pink one around his ankles, and flinching every time Harry whacked him with his feathery black hat. 

She had trouble making out Mitchell's story as she untied him, but the gist of it was Squall had barely escaped to the beach by leaving his toddler shadow behind. Selphie had done a quick makeover on Harry, dressing him up in one of the frillier shirts, dumping some yellow glitter on his head and giving him the hat to play with, before sticking him in the living room as Squall bait. Squall hadn't fallen for it, but Mitchell had, and Selphie and Quistis, bored, had jumped him before going after Squall.

As she snapped a picture of the fleeing ten year old in his hot pink party dress, Edea silently prayed the girls wouldn't jump any of the other older kids before she could warn them not to. Not all of them were as easy going as Mitchell.

Harry held up his hat for her to see. Even though he was make-up free and still had his overalls on underneath the lemon-yellow shirt, Edea took a picture of him, too.

* * *

Carrying Harry outside and trying to not get hit with the hat he was waving around, Edea followed the screams and war-whoops down to the beach. She wasn't at all surprised when Selphie and Quistis ran past her, giggling and carrying two shopping bags stuffed with clothes. Moments later, Squall ran up to her and skidded to a halt, tripping over the hem of his blue sequined dress when he saw her and Harry. Edea took advantage of the moment and snapped his picture. 

With that done, Edea helped Squall out of the heels. She managed to brush some of the blue glitter out of his hair and blue and grey make up off his face before Squall practically snatched Harry from her and slowly guided him to the house, muttering how Selphie and Quistis were pure evil for attacking defenseless babies and he hoped they got Seifer into the green thing.

Edea chuckled softly as she watched Squall stop halfway up the path so Harry could put the hat on his head. She fingered her camera thoughtfully as a rare smile crossed Squall's face. She took a picture of that as well and set off to find Seifer. Now that Squall had mentioned him, Edea realized she hadn't seen or heard Seifer at all since she had spied on him and Squall after breakfast. It was a very odd thing to not see or hear Seifer for an hour, let alone for the boy to miss lunch.

* * *

Seifer lasted a week dress free. 

Edea didn't know where he was hiding during the day, but she did know he was swiping food for lunch because apples, chips, and cookies kept disappearing. On the third day, a pouting Selphie put the make up away, and she and Quistis quit dragging their bags of clothes around as they hunted for him. On the fifth day, Seifer started coming to lunch again and the nest of pillows and blankets Edea had found in her closet during bed check the first night was gone as Seifer was sleeping in his bed again. On the sixth day, Selphie and Quistis disappeared for a while, making Seifer twitch at every shadow, but they reappeared later so Edea could take pictures of their new outfits and complement them on their improved make up skills (they had learned _a lot_ from experimenting on the boys).

Seifer should have taken that as a warning sign and gone into hiding again, but he didn't.

On the seventh day, it was pure luck Edea had her camera with her when it happened. There were only two pictures left on the roll and she was wondering what she could take pictures of before her trip into town the next day when the shouts started. She ignored them at first, they were playful shouts and those were allowed inside on rainy Saturdays. Then Zell snuck into the kitchen to grab some flour. After a brief debate on whether she should stop him or not, she gave in to her inner devil and silently followed him back to the playroom.

The playroom was the one room in the orphanage allowed to be an organized disaster area. The rest of the house had to be clean at all times, but for the playroom all Edea asked was they clean up their messes by the end of the day and that they not get anything too disgusting on the carpet. Peeking around the door, Edea decided this was the day Selphie and Quistis learned how to get flour out of carpet because this had to be their idea.

Squall was off to one side and trying to keep Harry from playing with (i.e.: eat) the makeup; Zell and Irvine were sitting on Seifer's legs; Quistis was sitting on Seifer's hands and trying to hold his face still; Selphie was holding a small brush covered in bright sparkly green eye shadow, and Seifer was in the middle of it all, dressed in a flashy green dress, his face and hair covered with flour and screaming threats at the top of his lungs.

"Hold still," Selphie ordered over Seifer's shouts, rubbing the eye shadow on Seifer's face. When she couldn't get anymore color out of the tiny foam brush, she held it out to Squall. He ground it into a random color on the make up tray and handed it back. Selphie looked at the black eye shadow for a moment before shrugging and going for Seifer's other eye.

After repeating the process with the blush and lipstick, Squall closed the make up kit (making Harry pout and try to open it again), grabbed a blond wig and blue green scarf from the box, and tossed those at Selphie. A brief struggle ensued, but in the end Selphie got the wig on Seifer and tied it in place with the scarf. Selphie grinned wickedly and sat back to admire her work. Irvine started a count down.

"One…" Selphie clambered off Seifer.

"Two…" Irvine and Zell moved so they were still holding Seifer's legs down but not sitting on them, and Squall grabbed Harry and moved out of the way.

"Three!" Quistis, Irvine, Zell and Selphie dived out of the way.

Edea had a split second to take the picture of Seifer, capturing his white face with his black and green raccoon eyes and purple lips on film for eternity. Then he was up and running, nothing more than an olive green blur as he raced for the bathroom, and Edea just barely managed to get a full picture of him as he wrestled with the bathroom door…

* * *

"…And that's why I joined Ultimecia," Seifer said. He took a swig of his beer and smirked at the orphanage gang's shocked faces. Did they really expect him to explain his _real_ reasons? Psshht. Yeah, right. Not going to happen. People who actually told the truth during Truth or Dare were pansies and idiots. "Romantic dreams aside, it was pure and simple revenge." 

"You spent most of the war harassing me, moron," Squall observed dryly. "According to your story it was Selphie's birthday gift. You should have been bugging her."

"What Squall said," Selphie said, bouncing on Irvine's lap. A confused expression crossed her elfin face, and she frowned at Squall. "Wait, what?"

"You're the one who said I should be in the green. Do you remember how many ruffles and beads were on that damn thing?" Seifer shot back at Squall. He fingered the pictures in his pocket. Maybe it would be worth the humiliation…

"He's lying," Rinoa declared, leaning against Squall and looking up at him lovingly. "There's no way that really happened."

Seifer gagged. Okay, _that_ was sickening. It had been bad enough watching the freaky toddler fawn over Leonhart, Seifer didn't need to see his ex do same damn thing twelve years later…

Seifer blinked at that thought and stared at Rinoa. And maybe that was why Rinoa was calling him a liar. It had to piss her off there had been someone else besides Ellone and her Leonhart cared deeply about, someone Leonhart had tried to keep safe when they were kids, and to know that someone had ties to his past she never would. Even if Matron never told them where the kid was now, the mere memory of him would irritate Rinoa.

He put his beer down and pulled the pictures out of his pocket, catching everyone's attention. He shuffled through them until he found the one with Squall in his blue dress and smiling as the toddler put a feathery black hat on Squall's head, and handed the pictures to Rinoa. She paled then flushed as Squall took the stack from her. Seifer sneered at her as Squall stared at the top photo, frowning as he tried to remember.

"Call me a liar now, Princess."


	19. Little Terrors

Title: Little Terrors

Summary: Two of Edea's children are more than a little strange

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VIII

Author's Notes: My muse was in the right place, just not the right universe. I don't think anyone will care, but my Harry muse named the dog Rabbit.

**Little Terrors**

All of her children were special in their own way, and Edea loved them with all her heart, but two of them were strange. They reminded Edea of her and Cid, but as Cid often pointed out when he was home, they were far too young for that kind of bond to have developed. There were times, though, times when Edea was sure something was off about the two small children.

Now was one of those times.

Squall was standing in front of her, his cold blue-grey eyes daring her to say no to their request, and Harry was right behind him, holding a small brown and black puppy close to his chest, looking up at her with big, begging eyes. Edea wondered if Harry knew Squall was trying to death glare her into letting them keep the puppy, and if Squall knew how frightening he could be. Squall was only ten, and Edea could honestly say it scared her at how far it the boy would go to make his younger friend happy. It terrified her when she thought of what Squall might do for Harry when they got older.

Suddenly Harry kicked his little foot out at Squall. "Quit it!"

"Don't tell me what to do," Squall said, turning around to glare Harry into submission. "You want to keep the puppy; we're asking if we can keep the puppy."

Harry pouted, completely immune to The Look. "It's not nice to," he scrunched his face up in a poor imitation of Squall's glare, "at Matron. You kill seagulls wit' it!"

And of course, there were times like this when they acted like the little terrors they were. Edea covered her eyes with one hand, trying not to laugh at the children or her own fears. Now they were simply children who had bonded after being left at the orphanage for so long, not a bonded sorcerer and knight that would one day take over the world. Harry would keep Squall in check the same way Squall kept Harry in check. And nothing, absolutely nothing bad would happen because Edea hadn't interfered.

"You can keep the puppy," Edea said, cutting off the escalating argument. The two boys looked at her, Harry grinning and Squall smiling his tiny little 'I win' smile, and with a chorus of "Thank you, Matron," the two boys ran off, leaving Edea with the feeling the whole scene had been faked.

"Little terrors," Edea muttered fondly as she picked up her pen and added puppy food to the list. They were just children. There was nothing to worry about. But it wouldn't hurt to send Harry and Squall to different Gardens. Just to be sure.


	20. Rapunzel

Title: Rapunzel

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VIII

Summary: It's all Seifer's fault. Really.

Author's Notes: AU for both universes. This takes place during the orphanage years of FFVIII, and I'm not sure how Harry got there, but he is. Quistis and Zell are both adopted by now, and Harry's roughly four years younger than everyone else.

**Rapunzel**

"It's Seifer's fault."

Edea blinked at Squall's declaration. Seifer had been sent to Garden four months ago when Cid finally got everything set up for young children at Balamb Garden, so there was no way Seifer was responsible for Harry being on the cliffs under the lighthouse and refusing to come down…at least not this time. She looked up at the ledge Harry was on, one far higher than he normally climbed, and a pair of bright green eyes met hers before Harry ducked back to hide again, a little bit of black hair still visible on the edge.

Selphie nodded seriously, her bottom lip sticking out in a pout as she ran a hand over her freshly cut hair. "He shaved patches on Irvine's head, and a big bald patch on Harry's, shaved Quistis's bangs off, gave Zell a Mohawk, cut my off my pigtails, and gave Squall chunky hair," she said, proud about remembering what the hairstylist had called Zell and Squall's hair when Edea took them to have it fixed.

Squall frowned up at Harry, crossing his arms over his chest after shoving Irvine butt first onto the sand when the redhead tried to hide behind him. He had suffered through getting a hair cut; Selphie had bravely faced hers; Irvine was going to get his, too. Harry might make it to dinner time tomorrow before he got hungry enough and climbed down in defeat. Of course, by then the scissors would be put away for another six months…

Edea sighed softly, remembering the incident that started everyone's dislike of haircuts. Seifer had discovered her anniversary gift for Cid in the back of the hall closet, and decided the beard and mustache kit made a wonderful toy, going after every kid in the orphanage with it at one point. By the time he was done, the razor was broken, the tiny scissors jammed, and the trimmer…well, Edea never had found the trimmer. Just as well. Cid had shaved off that silly beard of his by the time their anniversary had come, and Edea had knitted him a sweater instead.

But that was two years ago, and this phobia of Harry's was getting tiresome. It was a pain dealing with a five year old boy with waist length hair—braids didn't last and ponytails certainly didn't stop the tangles. "What if you offer to hold him while I cut it? Do you think that will get him down?" she asked Squall quietly.

Squall didn't say anything, just looked at her and lifted his arm to show the faded scar where Harry had bitten and scratched him the last time they tried that. Point made. Squall might be Harry's favorite person, but Harry's fear of scissors overrode everything else, and Squall had his limits of what he would put up with.

Edea sighed again. She couldn't hold Harry in place with magic since the little bugger could break free with his own now; he couldn't be bribed with sweets because he was going through a phase where he preferred fruit to chocolate and they didn't have any strawberries, and Squall obviously wasn't going to risk getting bitten again. And even if she did manage to cut it, there was always the chance Harry would regrow his hair like he had most of Quistis's bangs after the incident. That was it; she was out of options.

"If I don't cut your hair, will you behave when Squall braids it in the mornings?" she yelled up the cliffs. She ignored Squall's whisper-shout of "What!" for volunteering him, because someone had to deal with Harry's messy hair and it was obvious to her Harry wasn't going to come down if she was the one still braiding his hair from now on. "Harry!"

Harry poked his head over the ledge, his half undone braid now hanging over the edge, and Edea had to bite back a laugh. Harry resembled a miniature sorceress waiting for her knight to save her. That was the main reason Edea wanted to cut his hair—he got mistaken for a girl even when he wasn't.

"Will you?" Harry asked, pouting down at Squall and looking pitiful. Squall shot Edea an icy look before nodding reluctantly, and Harry beamed. "Okay!"

He edged out a little farther to climb down, and got his first _good_ look at how high up he was. He squeaked, his eyes going wide behind his glasses. Squall let out a dramatic sigh when Harry ducked back again, and he started up the cliffs to get the younger boy. Edea covered her mouth with one hand to stop the building giggles. It was childish and silly and she was far too old to be thinking things like this, but Squall really was acting like Harry's knight, a very grumpy, sullen knight in tarnished armor who didn't talk unless he had to, but a knight all the same.

Next to her, Selphie snickered and Irvine softly called to Squall, "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long hair," before they raced down the beach so Squall wouldn't be tempted to jump down and tackle them into the ocean in retaliation. As it was, Squall settled for humphing quietly and shooting Edea a weak glare over his shoulder when one tiny giggle escaped.

Edea waited patiently for the two boys to climb down, sparingly using her magic to support them when they needed help. Edea smiled as Squall tugged a still fearful Harry towards her, and gently ruffled both boys' hair. Harry ducked behind Squall, who rolled his eyes, and Edea quickly went to go find Irvine so she could cut his hair. It wouldn't be right if she laughed at her most prickly child…

"Rapunzel indeed," Squall muttered bitterly behind her, and Edea lost the battle.

She laughed.


	21. Fishtails

Title: Fish Tails

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Summary: Ginny Weasley is determined to date Harry Potter. But first, she wants to make sure her time and efforts will pay off.

Characters: Ginny, Hermione and alternate universe Harry.

Author's notes: This is perfect example of what happens when you mix writer's block with no sleep.

**Fish Tails**

It was the perfect plan. Complicated, drawn out, difficult, but perfect in the end. Summon a Harry Potter from another reality and find out how that Ginny had snagged him.

It was perfect in Ginny's mind, at any rate. None of her friends bothered to tell her she was taking things a touch too far in her quest to date Harry Potter, or there might be a chance Harry didn't end up with her in every reality. Hermione Granger came close to it once or twice, but the obsessive, manic glow in Ginny's eyes made the older girl fear for her safety. No, the most Hermione could safely do was ward the area Ginny did the spell in, take the girl's wand to prevent her from hexing the other Harry, and give her Harry a long talk on how to detect love potions.

Listening to the merman clinging to the edge of the pier, Hermione was very glad she had taken Ginny's wand. Fish-tail Harry was getting far too much enjoyment out of teasing Ginny.

"Date? Ginny?" Harry said, his eyes wide with confusion. He looked at Hermione for conformation and she nodded. He shuddered dramatically, creating ripples in the lake, and made a face. "Ew! Nasty!"

"Nasty? _Nasty_!" Ginny said, leaning back in surprise. She tucked her hair behind her ears and rubbed them to make sure she had heard right, all the while glaring fiercely at the boy. "What's so _nasty_ about dating _me_?"

"Why would I want to date my sister?" Harry asked, wrinkling his nose and looking altogether disgusted. This completely enthralled Hermione as the light dusting of dark green scales on Harry's face moved fluidly with the movement; she didn't think normal fish scales did that. But this Harry was a merman, even if he was a different breed than the people in the lake, so it might be caused by the very magic that allowed him to exist.

"_Sister_?" Ginny screeched. Her voice echoed around the lake. She looked around frantically to see if anyone had heard her, but the notice me not spell Hermione had cast held. She leaned down over the edge, getting right in the boy's face. Harry let go of the pier and backed away, his tail swishing and twitching the water. "What do you mean sister?" she hissed.

"The Weasleys raised me. Ginny…you in my reality, are like a sister to me," Harry said slowly like he was explaining this to a small child. Hermione understood how he felt, but Harry couldn't completely hide his smile and she worried how Ginny was going to react when she realized why Harry was smiling.

"My family raised you," Ginny repeated.

"Uh huh." Harry nodded, still smiling that playful smile Hermione knew meant bad things. "_And_…"

"And?"

"I'm gay," Harry said, floating a little further back. He looked down at the water, blushing, and watched his tail for a moment. He looked up at them from under his shaggy mane of black hair and thin strands of dark green scales mixed in with the black, and his blush hit all new heights, as the dusting of scales on his face turned an even darker green. "At least that's what Charlie calls it, and he knows more about humans than I do. You see, I have this thing for a human guy…"

"Oh Merlin," Ginny moaned, burying her head in her hands. "I've wasted all my time on a gay man. The research, the weeks looking for the potion ingredients, the money for my new robes…"

Ignoring Ginny's whining, Hermione knelt down next to her on the pier and stared at Harry thoughtfully. Then she smiled. This was too good of an opportunity to pass up; the only difficulty was deciding what was more important: knowing more about this Harry's type of merpeople or knowing who this mystery person was in case her Harry's taste ran the same way. Human in this Harry's world might translate to muggle here…and her Harry was oh so determined to have a some what normal life after Voldemort's death and that might include living in the muggle world…but then again, she would never get another chance like this one…

Hermione grimaced and rubbed her temples. Decisions like this always gave her headaches.

Hermione nodded decisively and leaned out over the water so her face was right in front of Harry's. This Harry obviously recognized her determined expression from his Hermione, because he gulped and made a tiny whimpering noise.

"Does this human guy have a name?"


	22. Polyjuice Mishap

Title: A Polyjuice Mishap

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Summary: Ron's not sure what scares him more, Harry dating Malfoy or the loss of the silencing charms.

Pairings: Ron/Hermione, Harry/Kingsley, Harry/Draco, mentioned Harry/Various.

Warnings: Implied sex.

Author's Notes: Look, Ma, a potions story that doesn't have Snape.

**A Polyjuice Mishap**

It was like watching a mass splinching. He wanted to look away, he needed to look away, but he was afraid if he did, it would just get worse.

Malfoy winked, Harry smiled at him, and Ron wanted brain-bleach. Hermione had had to explain the concept to Ron during their lunch, but once he had understood it, he wanted it. An Obliviate would be nice and painless, but that required hunting down a professional. Brain-bleach sounded painful, but it also sounded like something he could use on himself. Ron had a feeling if Harry wasn't charmed or hexed into this, he would need something to strip his recent memories away quite often.

Ron wanted to stop watching Harry and Malfoy flirt. He didn't want to see Malfoy's sly glances at the broom closet and be left wondering what they had been doing during his lunch break. He didn't want to admit he heard Harry invite Malfoy over to their flat for dinner that night.

Ron was okay with Harry batting for both teams. Ron had had a crush of his own on the keeper for the Chudley Cannons once. He understood the appeal, and was okay with Harry openly dating both. What Ron had trouble with was Harry's choice of dates.

First it had been Zabini; a short, fast relationship which had lasted two months. Then it had been Padma Patil, quickly followed by Pansy Parkinson, Ernie Macmillan, Hannah Abbot, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and now—Ron shuddered—the Ferret. Ron hadn't suspected Kingsley and Harry had broken up until he had come into the office late that morning and found Malfoy leaning against Harry's desk and leering down at Harry. His suspicions were confirmed when Harry hadn't hexed the blond nuisance away, but leered back up at him.

The worst part was Ron liked Kingsley. In fact, Kingsley was the first of Harry's dates Ron had liked. True, Kingsley was a little old for Harry, but Kingsley knew how to cast a good silencing charm, and when a man shares a flat with his best mate who happens to be a screamer, a talent like that is appreciated. He also bought Chinese food for everyone when he came over unannounced, and had been the only one of Harry's dates to acknowledge his and Hermione's presence by not attempting to make out with Harry in the living room in a lame attempt to stake his claim.

Ron didn't particularly like thinking of Kingsley in the past tense. He liked it even less when he realized he might have to start thinking of Malfoy as Harry's.

"Ron?"

Ron looked up from the report he was reading, saw Malfoy was gone, and smiled weakly at his best mate. "Yeah?"

"Hermione was supposed to tell you during your lunch break, but I'm guessing she didn't," Harry said, eyeing him with concern. There was also blushing, lots embarrassed blushing. Ron prayed this wasn't going to be about Malfoy.

Then he stopped to think about what Harry had just said. The only thing Hermione had done during lunch was laugh and explain the concept of brain bleach after he begged for a quick Obliviate. "Tell me what?"

"Um…" Harry was looking at a spot above Ron's head and fiddling with his quill. He occasionally glanced at Ron, but mostly his eyes were fixed on that spot. "There was an accident in the Experimental Potions department."

Experimental Potions? A very nasty suspicion began forming in Ron's mind, one he immediately dismissed because of how cruel it was. His best friend wouldn't do that do him. His girlfriend wouldn't do that do him. "Isn't that the department under review for unauthorized research? Something about using samples from past arrests?"

Harry nodded. Now he was looking at his desk, still with the occasional glance at Ron, and Ron stopped worrying that spot had a mysterious white stain he would never want to know the details of. "Kingsley was part of the surprise inspection team this morning, and a cauldron of their new Polyjuice exploded…"

"Are you telling me I spent the entire day thinking that was Malfoy, when it was Kingsley?" Ron screamed, and Harry nodded meekly. Anger fought with relief, relief won, and Ron sat back in his chair. "_Thank Merlin_."

"Ron?"

"You don't understand, Harry. I was so scared. No, I was _terrified_. After months of blissful silence, months of not listening to squeaking bedsprings, whimpers of 'more, please', you screaming…" Ron shook his head, shaking off the old memories he wished he didn't have. "I thought I was going to go insane if I heard you shouting to the heavens again." Ron said, and Harry blushed and puffed up like an offended blowfish.

"I am _not_ that loud."

"You keep thinking that, mate, and I'll keep pretending I never heard."


	23. First Kiss

Drabble: First Kiss

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Yu Yu Hakusho

Summary: The first might not be the best, but it's the most important.

Characters: Hermione, Kurama.

Pairing: Kurama/Hermione, a little Harry/Luna

**First Kiss**

In Hermione's opinion, the first kiss was the easiest way to see if a relationship would last. It didn't matter if the kiss was horrible, but what a person felt when it happened. Harry's description of his kiss with Cho as 'wet' hadn't been bad, but his mildly disgusted and disappointed face when describing it had told her that Cho wasn't meant for Harry. Harry's dazed smile when he got back from his first date with Luna, however, had told Hermione that Luna would make him happy.

Right now, Hermione felt like Harry had looked and this was just from a peck on the check.

From a _blind date_.

Kurama stepped back and smiled. "I'll call you in the morning."

Hermione nodded. "I hope so," she replied, her voice shaky.

"Goodnight, Hermione," he said before turning around and walking towards the lift.

As soon as the door to her apartment was closed, Hermione ran for the floo. She needed to tell Ginny about this.


	24. Revenge

Title: Revenge

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Yu Yu Hakusho

Characters: Kurama, Yusuke, Hermione, Harry, and Kuronue

Pairings: Kurama/Hermione

Warnings: Mentions of kidnapping and slash.

Author's notes: I love the idea of a Kurama/Hermione pairing but I've never been able to find one.

**Revenge**

_…according to a bat demon who claims to be a kitsune expert, male kitsunes can give birth when they either take a male lover or when their species is close to extinction. While this author was unable to find further proof, the demon did bring a small silver kit with him. He claimed the kit was his and his lover's child…_

Kurama's eyebrow twitched as he reread the passage. Six hundred years. It had been six hundred years and that stupid rumor of Kuronue's was still floating around. He read the passage for a third time and wondered whose child Kuronue had 'borrowed' for his little revenge plan.

"Well?" Hermione demanded. "Can you?"

Kurama looked up from the book and smiled weakly at his girlfriend. Of course, he would have to date a witch, a witch who was extremely curious, intelligent, and had access to some of the oldest books and scrolls around. Considering her book fetish, it had been just a matter of time before this particular rumor came back to haunt him. "No, Hermione, I can't. It's just a rumor that the author heard," he said, doing his best to ignore the laughter coming from the other couch where Harry and Yusuke were sitting.

Hermione spun around to glare at her friend. "It's not funny, Harry. I just wanted to know. After all, he's old. It's very possible he has kids running around," she snapped and Harry started laughing even harder at the offend look on Kurama's face.

"I am not old," Kurama muttered, not bothering to deny that he possibly had children, or grandchildren, somewhere. He just didn't have any from another man.

Yusuke grinned at his friend. "I've got a question for ya. Who did you piss off bad enough to make them do that?" he asked, waving a hand at the old book.

"What makes you think it was me?" Kurama asked. He scowled when everyone looked at him in disbelief. "What?"

"Kurama, I love you," Hermione said as she sat down on the small couch next to Kurama. "But I know you. Who?"

"An old friend," Kurama said.

Yusuke blinked and leaned over the table to look at the book. "Damn," he whispered as he read the passage and put the clues together. "Let me guess, you stole something shinny that he wanted?"

Kurama's smile was just a little sad. "Something like that," he replied.


	25. A Potential's Gift

Title: A Potential's Gift

Summary: Lily Evans had been the most promising potential Slayer the Watcher assigned to Hogwarts had ever seen.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Warnings: A little messing with basic Buffy concepts and the timeline of Harry Potter. He's now younger than Buffy.

**A Potential's Gift**

Lily Evans had been the most promising potential Slayer the Watcher assigned to Hogwarts had ever seen.

It was rare for the council to bother with witches identified as potential Slayers, but he had been proud of his charge from their first meeting. The eleven year old girl hadn't said it was impossible for vampires and demons to exist, nor had the tiny girl been upset when he added two lessons a week to her schedule for training. Instead, she had thrown herself into learning how to become the best, most knowledgeable Slayer ever. He had known from day one the chance of the girl actually being Called was small—a wand witch hadn't been Called as a Slayer in since the time of the Founders—but if she had been, he was sure she would have survived well into her late twenty's, possibly longer. Lily had had that air of a permanent survivor, of one who did not give up.

Then they had found that damnable prophecy. Lily had taken one look at it, added it up with the wizarding world's situation, and began hunting for a way to pass her gift on to her future son. He hadn't known what the girl was going to do, he had been so sure his potential was too smart to do something so foolish, but when she had shown up to a training session in the middle of her seventh year, that light that made her different from everyone else was gone. Lily Evans was no longer a potential, but an unwed mother to be. Two months later, Lily had married James Potter, and he had given up all hope of ever training a Slayer.

Until Harry Potter slammed his hands down on the Gryffindor table in a fit and neatly cracked it in half.

Dolores Umbridge had tried to use it as a reason to have to boy expelled, but Albus had intervened, stopping the woman's rants and accusations before they could truly get started, blaming the whole incident on stress and a build up of accidental magic. For the first time since Harry's arrival at the castle, he was absolutely thrilled Albus's sense of guilt led him to pamper and protect the boy. He could always leave the school and follow Harry home if worst came to worst, but he would miss passing his knowledge on to others. It was the Ravenclaw in him.

He did a small jig as the fifth year Gryffindors walked into his classroom without Umbridge behind them. As he grabbed the essays off his desk, he made a mental note to thank Severus for letting him borrow the nausea potion. It would have been next to impossible to approach Harry with that toad of a woman around.

"Mr. Potter, please stay after class," Filius said, almost bouncing as he handed out last week's work.

"Yes, Professor Flitwick," Harry replied, sinking down in his seat.

"_Harry, what did you do_?" Hermione hissed, her bushy hair giving Filius the impression of an angry cat. "Professor Flitwick never makes anyone stay behind."

"Hermione, shut it," Ron grumbled as he shoved his essay in his bag to hide his grade. "Don't you think he has enough going on without you laying into him?"

"Don't you tell me to shut it, Ronald Bilius Weasley!"

Filius grinned as he listened to the three children argue. He was sorry for Rupert Giles's loss; he really, truly was, but he couldn't get rid of his grin. Not only had a potential he trained done the impossible, but her son would not be alone in his fight. Harry's friends wouldn't let him be. Filius's Slayer wasn't just going to survive, he was going to _live_.

Now he had to figure out how to explain how and why Lily had done the impossible and created a new Slayer line without Ms. Granger demanding a pass to the Restricted Section.

Author's Notes: If you're curious, this takes place after the first season of Buffy, and Harry, along with Kendra, got called when Buffy died. Not that you really need to know that, since I don't plan on touching this again. Not that I've been able to resist playing with other things I didn't plan on working with again.


	26. A Lion's Pride

Title: Lion's Pride

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Final Fantasy VIII

Summary: Luna Lovegood has always known lions are prideful creatures, one only had to look at the Gryffindor students to know and understand that, but it wasn't until she saw Squall Leonhart and Harry Potter together that she really understood how much their pride could be a problem.

Warnings: the f word three times, slash relationships and sex mentioned and implied.

Author's Notes: I wrote this when I had a bout of writer's block. I gave myself a title and a summary and forced myself to write something based on it. It's not the best thing ever, but I liked my trip into Luna's head.

**Lion's Pride**

Squall Leonhart's innate grace, the way his eyes noticed everything around him, his quick reflexes, his cool head in a fight; they all reminded Luna of a great cat. His quiet obsession with lions just reinforced the image. No one else would make the connection, but to Luna, Squall Leonhart was a quieter, taller Harry Potter. Not the Harry Potter she had gone to school with, oh Merlin, no. Squall was another version of the Professor Harry Luna met every Wednesday at The Three Broomsticks for a student free lunch. The only difference Luna could see besides their physical appearance was the way they handled their anger. Squall internalized his, using it as a focus to drive him forward, while Harry let his escape in loud, violent bursts of energy and shouts so he could relax and focus on the problem at hand.

Luna watched the two lions argue over how to send Squall and his people back to the proper reality for two hours, and she came to a very firm, inescapable conclusion: Harry and Squall needed to fuck.

She didn't think they should have a long lasting romantic relationship, or sweet, gentle sex, nor was she foolish enough to believe the two could ever be friends. However, they did need to get rid of the hanging tension. A good, long fuck would do that. It would also give Squall the chance to actually do something productive, because Luna knew how Harry's mind worked, and he could probably come up with the right solution while pinned to a wall. Unfortunately, Squall couldn't do that to Harry since they were trapped in a hot stuffy conference room filled with the other Hogwarts professors and Squall's friends.

Harry snapped something rude, and Squall stiffened. Luna sighed and pushed her chair away from the table. She waved a hand carelessly when the headmistress asked where she was going, but no one else seemed to care if she left. Luna stalked towards the staircase leading towards Harry's rooms on the sixth floor. She needed to make sure he had lube.

If the lions were too proud to admit the tension in the air was sexual tension and go get rid of it, Luna was going to make them get rid of it.

Twenty minutes later, the crowd in the conference room began panicking when two of its members suddenly disappeared. Ten minutes after that, Dobby confessed to Headmistress McGonagall he had popped the two of them to Professor Potter's rooms on Professor Lovegood's orders. Five minutes after that, Headmistress McGonagall and Headmistress Trepe confronted Professor Lovegood outside Harry Potter's portrait, only to move the conversation elsewhere when the most interesting sounds—Luna hadn't known Harry was capable of making _that_ sound—drifted through the canvas.

Sometime the next day—long after breakfast and half an hour 'til lunch—a well shagged Harry Potter and a very smug Squall Leonhart stumbled out into the hallway, and met up with a very cheerful Luna. Harry blushed, Squall raised an eyebrow, and Luna smirked.

"Everyone is waiting in the conference room," Luna said as she handed Harry and Squall a few slices of cold toast. "I know you've figured it out in the middle of sex, Harry. Now you just need to explain everything, and we can send them home."

"_Luna!_" Harry blushed, and quickly began shredding his toast so he wouldn't have to look at anyone. "Could you please not talk about sex like it's how I solve all my problems."

"I was in the next room when you had your eureka moment during sex with Charlie," Luna explained with a small shrug. She didn't see what the big deal was. Her mother had gotten huge moments of inspiration while eating chocolate, and Luna herself had them while watching Ron and Hermione argue. Harry's brilliant idea catalyst just happened to be a mind blowing fuck. "I thought it might work to help you figure out how to send them home before our students get here next week."

"What makes you think he's staying here?" Squall asked, wrapping his hand around Harry's wrist possessively.

"What the hell makes you think one night of sex, even if it was bloody brilliant sex, gives you any right to decide what I'm going to do?" Harry demanded as he yanked his hand free, his shredded toast falling to the floor.

Luna gave herself a mental smack as the two men argued their way back to the portrait guarding Harry's rooms. She had forgotten the most important rule when it came to dealing with lions. They were not only prideful creatures, but possessive to boot. She should have called Charlie to help Harry get his eureka moment, unresolved sexual tension be damned. The headmistress was going to make her find the new defense professor for this.


	27. A New Species

Title: A New Species

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Summary: Hagrid discovers a new species of Boggart, one that enjoys imitating Hogwarts students.

Characters: Millicent, Blaise, Mary-sue Blaise

Author's Notes: Why? Why do so many authors give Blaise a sex change _and_ a makeover now that we know he's a guy? Canon Blaise is hot! Old fics, that's cool; new ones, I worry the author needs to work on their reading comprehension.

**A New Species**

"_Who the hell are you_?"

The girl smiled, showing off her perfectly even, white teeth, and tossed the end of her strawberry blond braid over her shoulder. "Blaze Zambini. And you?"

Blaise Zabini looked at the girl's clingy, black silk robes, sneering at the green snakes stitched along the seams. Completely impractical. Her three inch heels, shiny leather handbag, and diamond necklace and earrings were also instantly labeled as impractical. "What kind of moron dresses like a cheap hooker for Potions? Other than Pansy, I mean. Are you _trying_ to give our house a bad reputation?"

The girl's smile faltered, for just a second, and Blaise could briefly see the image of braces on the girl's teeth. '_Score_!'

"This dress is the height of fashion, you ill bred twit," the girl shot back, her hands shaking ever so slightly as she smoothed her dress over her chest in a weak attempt to distract him with her cleavage.

"I've seen better on Flobberworms," Blaise said flatly, eyeing the girl's chest with distaste. "I suggest you get yourself a set of Whipwitch unders. Moon swears by them."

Blaise imagined he could hear the long squeak of air leaving as her chest deflated to something closer to training bra size when compared to the mountains from before, and her hair lost its sparkle as her elaborate braid unraveled. Even her golden honey eyes started to have hints of dull brown.

'_This is getting to be too easy_,' he thought with a silent, disappointed sigh. Behind him, Millicent snickered.

"I-"

Blaise didn't give the girl time to recover. Leaning in to take a good look at her necklace, he sneered at her, adding distain to the disgust. "Is that glass? What are you, a Mudblood? You should know Slytherin doesn't allow your kind to live long in our house. We killed a first year girl just last week when we found out what she was," he said, having no trouble saying the lie with a straight face.

The girl sniffled and pushed her lanky blond hair out of her face. "I hate you," she hissed.

"Did you know Potter's a poof?" Blaise said casually, going in for the kill. "He broke up with the Weasel girl last week for the twin Weasels."

The girl wailed. In a puff of black smoke, she disappeared, leaving behind her dress and heels. Blaise poked the puddle of silk with his shoe to make sure she was really gone. The one the week before had simply shrunk, and he had only found out later when he discovered a lump of black goo on the bottom of his shoe.

"What are those things?" he asked Millicent, after confirming the girl was no more.

"Hagrid thinks they're a new type of Boggart."


	28. A Slice of Normal

Title: A Slice of Normal

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter books.

Summary: Somewhere out there is a Harry Potter who never heard of Voldemort.

Author's Notes: I've never been able to enjoy an AU high school HP fic, so I challenged myself to write one to see if I could. This is as close as I could get.

**A Slice of Normal**

_In high school, Harry was the quiet kid in the back of the room who liked to daydream. Other students knew him and his friends as "those weirdoes", the teachers barely remembered their names, and Harry liked it that way. It had taken him two years of being unremarkable, a little geeky, and a whole lot strange for his classmates to forget who his father was and how rich he was. Now Harry could come to school dressed as the worst kind of cheep hooker from Knockturn Alley and the worst would be another rumor around the school how "The weirdoes are up to something" and another warning from the principal to not let Hermione blow up the chemistry lab again and to keep Ron away from the cafeteria's kitchen._

_As he adjusted the silver tassel on his graduation cap so his mother could take another picture, Harry knew he would miss it. College would come with its own brand of anonymity, but it wasn't the one he was used to. Here people knew who he was, they just didn't care what he did; there no one would know and no one would care. It was almost enough to scare Harry into telling his father he would take his offer of a year off._

_Hermione laughed as she tackled him, knocking him into Ron and both of them on the ground. Harry and Ron's caps went flying, revealing the purple and silver hair their mothers had spent so much time hiding. Grinning, Harry pulled Hermione's cap off and Ron pulled the pins out of her bun, releasing her dyed curls. _

_Ignoring their embarrassed parents and the other families around them, the three friends, still in their puppy pile on the ground, grinned as Hermione pulled a disposable camera out of her gown, and they posed for the snapshot._

"Harry?"

Harry looked away from the Mirror of Erised and smiled weakly at his best friend. "Hey."

"Didn't Dumbledore tell you that thing was dangerous?" Ron asked as he walked over and sat on the floor next to Harry.

Harry shrugged and went back to watching the scene play out in the mirror. "I keep waiting for my boggart to turn into a camera," he said eventually, "but the me in there doesn't seem to have a problem."

Ron nodded, wishing he could see what Harry saw in the mirror so he could understand why Harry sounded so wistful. "Is he posing for the camera?"

Harry snorted, and then snickered before saying, "Yeah; me, you, and Hermione. We're goofing off."

"Ah. You know, we can go goof off in the common after Professor McGonagall kicks us out of Dumbledore's library for the night," Ron suggested, not at all liking the pained expression on Harry's face. He regretted saying anything when Harry's smile disappeared. "Or we could sit here until Hermione comes to find us."

"No," Harry said, shaking his head as he stood, his recently acquired stubborn, tired, determined expression firmly in place. "We need to figure out how to destroy the Horcruxes." He looked at the mirror and smiled sadly. "Normal can wait."


	29. Fragments

Title: Fragments

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry Potter belongs to Rowling and the Kingdom Hearts games belong to Square Enix and Disney.

Summary: As Naminé steals Sora's memories away, what happens to the memories of the people he saved?

Characters/Pairings: implied past Leon/Harry

Series: Not really, but it could be looked at as a sequel to 'Too Much Information'

Author's Notes: I'm supposed to be working on Side Effects…

**Fragments**

His memories of the past seven months were scattered, broken, drifting. Incomplete and not quite whole, but _important_.

Harry played with the lion ring, twisting it around and around his ring finger as he tried to piece the fragments together. They centered around a boy--one Harry couldn't quite remember but knew was important--and people the boy had known. A talking dog, a duck with anger management problems, a gentle woman with long reddish-brown hair and green eyes, a teenager with far too much energy, a blond man who chain smoked whenever he could, a tall man with brown hair and cold eyes. Important people, one of whom had meant the world to Harry for a short while.

A person he didn't know now.

The boy wasn't in Harry's memories often. Harry could remember times when the boy wasn't around, times when he was living in that place he couldn't remember the name of, but the boy was important. The boy was important to the worlds. The boy had saved him. Slept on his couch while his two animal friends slept in Harry's spare bedroom. Trained with the man who had given Harry the ring he couldn't stop playing with.

But the ring wasn't important…Well, it was in a _personal_ sense, but the boy was important to the _worlds_. The boy had done _something_ to save the worlds, to save Harry and others like him. It shamed Harry to know he couldn't remember the boy's name or his comrade's names. Harry wished he could, he wanted to thank them.

And ask if they knew the name of the man who had given him the ring. It scared Harry that he couldn't remember the name of his once lover.

Leon turned the white feather over and over, gently playing with it, being careful of the sharp quill point. He had found it in his bags, a memento of someone from Traverse Town. All of them had hundreds of little things like it, bits and pieces of things left from their life in that shadow world. The quill was the only one that kept drawing his attention. Sure, the picture of him, Aerith, Yuffie, and Cid all crowded around their favorite café table was special, but the quill belonged to one of the faded people in the photos Aerith couldn't bring herself to throw away just yet.

The photos were strange. The backgrounds were solid and clear, as were some of the people in them, but there were blank spots, places where people should be but weren't. Yuffie playing chess with a ghost. Aerith talking to a shadow. Cid trying to get his cigarettes back from Yuffie and a floating Keyblade. Leon holding someone who wasn't there and wasn't Rinoa.

Leon didn't like looking at that one. He had been with other people while living at Traverse Town, a person can't go nine years without human interaction, even though he had tried, but that was the only picture of one of those short lived relationships. It scared him to think he had had a relationship, a relationship Aerith had found memorable enough to take a picture to immortalize, with a person he couldn't recall beyond a faded memory of green eyes and dark hair.

Leon could trace his missing memories to the wielder of the Keyblade. He couldn't remember what the boy looked like, his name, anything beyond the boy had the Keyblade. Every memory after that and some before were affected, any memory where the boy was mentioned or had a direct or indirect impact on was gone or had crater sized holes in it. The pictures, like Leon's memories, had the same holes.

Merlin said it was a memory spell of sorts, a powerful one. It wasn't targeted at them, but at the boy they couldn't remember. Whoever had cast the spell had messed it up royally in Merlin's opinion. If they had done it properly, no one would know they had been affected.

Leon didn't know if that was a comfort or a curse. His Greiver ring, the one he had planned to give to Rinoa one day, was missing, and Leon suspected he had given it to a man he couldn't remember.


	30. Spinning Glass

Title: Spinning Glass

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Summary: Beauty is a fragile thing.

Author's Notes: Even though this is from Hermione's point of view, I wrote this with Minerva McGonagall/Tom Riddle in mind.

_**Spinning Glass**_

The figurine's spun glass wings were beautiful. Thin lines of glass and soft colors swirled together to make hundreds of patterns within each wing. There was a small gold lion cub…here was a tiny badger…on the right wing tip was a small slithering snake…in the curve of the left wing a spinning leaf…a stack of books in a layer of feathers…a raven taking flight…Without the wings and their patterns, the glass angel would have just been another glass statue.

Hermione leaned closer, studying the magic and care imbued in the fragile wings. She was good at everything, but she didn't have one thing she loved to do. The person who made this loved crafting with magic; she could see it in the way the wings cradled the angel. Looking closer, she could see the same care had been taken with the angel. At first glance nothing was there, but now she could see the glowing runes etched into the folds of her robes, a faint sparkle in the angel's cat-like eyes. Hermione couldn't imagine why the professor had hidden such an amazing thing in this dusty, neglected corner.

The angel was an amazing balance of specialized charms, runes and arithmancy, all pulled together to create this beautiful guardian disguised as a simple figurine. She lifted her hand; she wanted to trace the lines of the robes, figure out why the runes were placed the way they were…

A hand grabbed hers and abruptly pulled her away. Hermione gasped, looking up at her favorite professor in shock.

Professor McGonagall released her hand, none to gently pushing her a little further from the statue. "Miss Granger, I believe you need to leave."

The dismissal was obvious, Hermione couldn't remember why she had come here in the first place, but…Her eyes strayed back to the fragile glass angel.

"Miss Granger!"

The bark in Professor McGonagall's voice made Hermione jump. She gathered her bag and books, racing for the office door and babbling apologies with each step. Professor McGonagall had never used that voice with her before; Harry and Ron, but never her. It hurt to know the Voice could be directed at her.

A whisper of sound made Hermione look back. Professor McGonagall had picked up the angel and was cradling it gently in her hands, a pained expression on her face. The next instant the angel was a thousand pieces of glass on the stone floor.

Hermione ran.

The next time Hermione was in Professor McGonagall's office, the angel was back in its dusty corner, a new pattern of images in its wings.


	31. Bending the Rules

**Title**: Bending the Rules

**Summary**: Her first thought upon meeting a Gundam pilot was he had Harry hair.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing or Harry Potter.

**Characters**: Hermione, Heero

**Author's Notes**: Someone on FFnet asked if I would write them something with a Harry/Wu Fei pairing. I got frustrated with it and went to a random generator to see if it could give me any ideas. What I ended up with wasn't exactly what I wanted. Right fandoms, wrong characters.

**Bending the Rules**

If anyone ever asked Hermione where she got her love of breaking the rules from, she would laugh and throw a subtle glance at Ron and Harry. They started in on her rule abiding nature early, pushing little boundaries here and there until breaking the occasional rule became a thrill for her. Never big rules, never laws, but always some stupid, little rule that needed to be broken. It gave her an adrenaline rush like nothing else ever would. Harry had his flying; Ron had his job; and Hermione had her little rule rebellion.

Hermione stared at the door, one hand raised to knock. She didn't know if she should do this. This wasn't rule breaking, this was law breaking. This was taking a baseball bat to the holiest of the stained glass window laws, the ones no one should touch. This could get her arrested and thrown in jail for life, trial not included.

The apartment door opened, and two suspicious blue eyes stared at her. Hermione lowered her fist and blushed. Her first thought upon meeting a Gundam pilot was he had Harry hair. How stupid could she be?

"What do you want?" the young man asked, and Hermione felt her stomach tighten. Her blush went that extra shade deeper, the one that meant she was thinking of something she most definitely shouldn't be.

"I'm writing an article for the anniversary of-"

Heero Yuy slammed the door in her face.

Hermione growled and banged on the door. He was not getting rid of her that easily.


	32. Curious Little Seer

Title: Curious Little Seer

Summary: Harry liked to poke things.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter books or Stargate SG-1

Characters: Daniel, Harry, Jack and Sha're mentioned

Timeline: Definite AU for both universes

Author's Notes: To me, it feels like there is more to this, but nothing's coming.

**Curious Little Seer**

Harry liked to poke things.

It had scared the hell out of Daniel the first time it happened. Harry had poked a small statue lightly, making it shake. Daniel had made an impressive jump-dash-slide just in time to prevent the small statue from shattering on the floor. Harry had stared down at him in horror; after all, it wasn't every day a four year old child saw his new guardian jump over a table covered with books, dash around a book case, and slide across the floor to catch one tiny little statue. Daniel hadn't been able to yell at him-they still hadn't clicked after living together for three weeks and Harry always went back into his shell after Daniel showed even the slightest bit of anger.

It took three more daring rescues, a broken urn, and a shattered statue before Daniel figured out why Harry liked to poke things: he was curious.

Daniel had no clue what Harry's home life was before Minerva McGonagall got in touch with him about becoming Harry's guardian, but he did know Harry was oddly quiet for a small child. Putting two and two together, Daniel figured out Harry's aunt had taught him not to ask questions. Poking had become the next best thing. It was quick, almost no one would see him do it, and his curiosity was temporarily sated.

Daniel started to explain things. Not just the statues, the classes, or the artifacts at the university where he and Harry went everyday, but simple things too, like how to work the telephone and what they were going to get at the store the next day, leaving little pauses here and there for questions. At first Harry continued to simply poke or point, silently asking the questions he wasn't comfortable putting to words, but eventually Daniel coaxed the questions out of him.

By the time Harry was eleven and on his way to Hogwarts, Daniel had coaxed his quietly curious cousin completely out of his shell. It came as no surprise to Daniel Harry was sorted into Ravenclaw. Daniel had taught him to question everything and to always seek out the answers.

However, it was a surprise when Harry sent him an old cloak a few weeks after Christmas, along with a very simple note: Bring Sha're home. She'll be safe here.

A few months later, Daniel and Jack were leading a very nervous and very invisible Sha're through the Stargate. It took four days for them to get out of the mountain and another two days before Daniel was able to get to a wizarding book store. He had no idea if his continual prodding and convincing his cousin to always ask questions had brought about Harry's little prediction, but he was determined to figure it out. Harry had never done anything like it before.

When Harry said Daniel shouldn't take Sha're back to the desert until after the gold man had left, he convinced her to go to Harry's school for a short stay. He wasn't taking any chances with his pregnant wife, and a castle in Scotland was about as far from a desert as it could be. He felt horrible for the Abydos woman who had been taken and forced to become a host, but when he met Sha're and Harry at the airport at the end of June, most of his lingering guilt disappeared when he thought about what Harry had meant by 'safe'; the rest of his guilt fueled his desire to find his wife's friend and return her to her people.

Years later, when Daniel met his alternate from another reality, he finally knew how big an impact his curious Seer cousin had had on his life. Harry had destroyed two priceless artifacts with his poking, but he had also made two priceless predictions that had changed Daniel's life and saved Sha're's. Daniel considered that a fair trade.


	33. Falling

Title: Falling

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this.

Summary: Hermione does something just for herself.

Characters/Pairings: Hermione/Quistis

Author's Notes: This is the first femslash I have ever written. This is also the closest I will ever get to writing porn without spontaneously combusting from embarrassment…And the fear my mother will pop up behind me and ask what the heck I'm doing. No matter how old I get, she's still scary.

**Falling**

Hermione didn't understand.

Quistis smiled, a Slytherin smile if Hermione had to put a name to it, and took her glasses off.

Hermione liked for things and people to fit into nice, neat boxes. She liked to understand. How they worked. Why they did what they did. What would happen if you put object A with object B in conditions C. All those questions and answers she had helped her explain the world around her, helped her feel comfortable in the world, helped explain her _place_ in the world.

But now…

Quistis stepped closer, one hand taking out the pins holding up her hair, the other grabbing Hermione's wrist, gently stroking her skin.

This world made no sense. Magic didn't work according to the laws and theories Hermione had studied so diligently; Harry was holed up in the library, acting more like her than the young man she knew; Ron was off learning how to use a gunblade and fighting in the Training Center…Her boys and her magic no longer fit into the boxes Hermione's mind had made for them.

They were learning, growing, _changing_.

And they were leaving her behind.

Hermione leaned in towards Quistis, and the older girl smiled again, this time a gentle guiding smile. Hermione reached up and helped take the pins from the simple blonde twist on the back of Quistis's neck. She used one hand to drop the pins on the bedside table, but left her other clinging to Quistis' shoulder.

Hermione wanted free of _her_ box. She didn't want to be left behind in the dark while her boys explored this new world. She didn't want to be trapped as little Miss Know-it-all here too. Hermione wanted to find those missing pieces of herself she hadn't been able to before, the ones she had labeled not important because of school and Voldemort and her friends and fate.

Hermione wanted _out_.

When Quistis moved to nuzzle that little place between Hermione's neck and ear, that little place that made Hermione melt, Hermione turned her head. Their lips met in a kiss, and Hermione let herself _feel_ it. _Participate_ in it. _Need_ it.

Her boys hadn't completely left their boxes yet. Harry was poking his head out as he learned, but he still had brooding fits and sullen moods—he just had company for those now. And Ron, simple, wonderful Ron, his training all fell back on that one foot he still had in his box, his need to prove himself and his Gryffindor streak of chivalry. They were doing things by halves, taking small steps, little leaps and jumps. Not Hermione.

Hermione was going to rip her box open and stand on the shreds.

She laughed as Quistis pushed her back towards the bed and let herself fall.


End file.
